


First Words Annotated

by The_Cool_Aunt



Series: First Words [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Humor, John's Jumpers, Shock Blanket, puns galore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 04:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3597069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Cool_Aunt/pseuds/The_Cool_Aunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An explanation of all the horrible puns and references in First Words. Tip of the hat to ACD and BBC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Words Annotated

Mycroft Holmes did not speak until he was six. [Some geniuses are known to not speak until quite late, but often start using full sentences. Do your research. Which is a Sherlock reference within this note. Sorry. No, not really. Not sorry at all.] His first words were, “Mummy, may I please have some cake and some tea?”  
  
Mummy, startled, handed her son a slice of bread and butter.  
  
Mycroft accepted it, glared at it, and pointedly put it down on the table. “Though I asked most distinctly for cake, you have given me bread and butter.”  
  
[This is a reference to Mycroft’s weakness for sweets, according to Sherlock, and of course a take on the brilliant Oscar Wilde’s _The Importance of Being Earnest,_ which is the best play ever. No, really.]  
  
*  
  
Sherlock Holmes began speaking at the age of five months, but he tended to speak mainly in isolated words. His first word was “Dull.” [Just flat out Sherlock quote.] He would have long conversations with himself that made no sense whatsoever to anyone else, waving his arms about wildly and sometimes falling over with exasperation. [Sherlock deducing at a crime scene, a la "A Study in Pink," and then the inevitable huff and collapse on the sofa.] Mycroft began videotaping him. [Mycroft and his beloved CCTV]  
  
Many years later, Mycroft had all the videos converted to DVD. [What the Holmes brothers would consider sentiment, but Mycroft worries about Sherlock. Constantly.]  
  
_“Bees! Lots of bees, My!“_ [Canon SH retired to raise bees]  
  
_“I’ve got a bwanket.”_ [A favorite fanfic of mine, “A Study in Bwankets,” involves Kidlock! John and Sherlock, and of course Sherlock had his shock blanket]  
  
_“Curls. Widiculous.”_ [Benedict Cumberbatch requested that his unruly curls be a bit shorter for Season 3. Because no fangirl wants to run her fingers through them. Said no fangirl, ever.]  
  
_“Pie.”_ [Pi--maths]  
  
*  
  
Sherlock did not speak any full sentences until he was sent off, with some trepidation on the part of his parents, to nursery school. He was sent home the first day for having made the classroom assistant first blush, then cry, when he calmly pointed out, “You might have worn a petticoat. We can all see through your skirt when you stand with your back to the window.”  
  
[Princess Diana was still Lady Diana Spencer and a kindergarten assistant in London when Sherlock/BC was four years old. Infamous photoshoot—she learned quickly.]  
  
*  
  
_“Bored.”_ [Straight quote]  
  
_“Two…”_ [See below]  
  
_“Cummerbund.”_ [One of the many, many, many misinterpolations of Cumberbatch. Yes, I made up a word. I’m an editor. I can do that.]  
  
*  
  
Gregory Lestrade liked to play coppers and crooks. He preferred being a crook, as he got to shoot a gun. Coppers could only shout “Stop!” and wave a stick. And drink tea. When he was eight, some neighborhood boys stole a doll from a small girl and were tossing it around while she cried. He shoved one boy right over on his bum, kicked another in the knee, sending him down howling, and merely growled at the third, who handed him the doll, turned tail, and ran.  
  
The girl for whom he had rescued the doll had thrown her arms around him, thanking him profusely while getting chocolate on his shirt. She then asked him over for a tea party. Never one to turn down a cup of tea, Greg went, and spent the remainder of his afternoon wearing a purple frock, large hat, and heels, solemnly sipping imaginary tea from a plastic tea cup, his knees up to his chest to fit into the tiny chair.  
  
After that, Greg preferred to play the copper and would often be found putting parking tickets on illegally parked tricycles.  
  
[Just because I wanted to show why Greg became a DI]  
  
*  
  
_“Two… one”_ [see above]  
  
_“Bandicoot.”_ [Benedict via confused people; my favorite is “Britishguy Sillyname.”]  
  
_“Myjawn.”_ [Reference to fanfics that make fun of the way he says “John”]  
  
*  
  
John Hamish Watson said “Mama” at twelve months and “Dada” at thirteen. [Completely average] Those were followed by “kitty” and “jam.” [Fanfic: John Watson/Martin Freeman is, for whatever reason, theorized to be made of kittens and jam and RAGE.]  
  
His first three-syllable word was “continent.” [“Three-Continents Watson”--This fan-created nickname has its origins in the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle novel _The Sign of Four,_ in which Doctor Watson boasts “an experience of women which extends over many nations and three separate continents.” http://thesherlockfandom.tumblr.com/post/27372580057/john-three-continents-watson]  
  
*  
  
_“Bee flat.”_ [Music reference—Bb—and a pun on their flat number]  
  
_“H… he li be B C”_ [First of the elements of the periodic table, which Sherlock has displayed in his bedroom; and it’s cool that there’s “B C”]  
  
_“Do shut up.”_ [Direct quote]  
  
_“Flat bee.”_ [See Two… and Two one… above; or possibly a reference to his liking of bees. Both. It’s both.]  
  
*  
  
John rarely spoke unless spoken to, except when his sister, older by two years, stole his toys. “Hey!” he would bellow. His favorite toys were a stuffed otter and a stuffed hedgehog. He would make cozy nests for them with his jumpers within his sofa-cushion forts. Harriet (who actually responded to adults calling her “Harriet” until she was thirteen and rebelled) would distract John by pointing something out on the telly, then creep in and pull the hapless creatures from their cuddled-together slumbers, laughing and running from the room. John would stomp angrily after her, arms across his chest and a scowl on his tiny face. “Harry,” he’d scold. “Bit not good.” [direct quote] He’d point at his precious playthings, and every single time, Harry would instantly regret what she had done and give them back.  
  
[Because Otterlock will never not be funny]  
*  
  
_“Round and round the garden!”_ [like a teddy bear—Sherlock’s rant on not caring about the fact that the earth goes around the sun]  
  
_“Jumper.”_ [reference to John’s predilection for wearing them; or is it a reference to a much more angsty type of jumper? Mwah ha ha…]  
  
_“Oatmeal.”_ [Did you know that Martin Freeman himself bought the infamous oatmeal jumper because it seemed like something John would wear?]  
  
_“Two-hundred forty-three.”_ [types of ash on Sherlock’s website, which no one reads]  
  
_“Obvious.”_ [direct quote]  
  
*  
  
James Moriarty said his first words, “Mum,” “Da,” and “apple,” to his adoptive parents, Robert and Joan Brooks. To their neighbors, he always seemed quite nice—very polite. Bob and Joan never went into any detail about what had happened to his parents.  
  
[Bad, bad Jim, an explanation for his pseudonym and tip of the hat to his Irish background, and a reference to the apple scene, although you should see him in a crown.]  
  
*  
  
_“Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers!”_ [John’s unit in canon and BBC series]  
  
_“Five is right out.”_ [ _Monty Python and the Holy Grail,_ which John would think is hilarious and Sherlock wouldn’t know about.]  
  
_“Cereal.”_ [serial, as in killer—it’s Christmas!]  
  



End file.
